26 Sep 01

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So, Maybe Not

Looking through these photographs from the other night, I realize that I don't like any of these. In these pictures I feel greasy and fat with impossible hair and tiny eyes. I don't feel like a beautiful person.

The old nudes maybe weren't technologically wonderful. They were taken with a crappy little webcam. But they were taken at a time when I felt relaxed and in love and beautiful, and it feels to me like that aspect transferred into the images. These nudes feel so unselfconscious, so whole, so natural.

I need to get Napalm to do a shoot for me. I think that a lover's eye can capture more, and being there for a lover will elicit more to be captured.  

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