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2 September 1998 |
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Aaaaahhh the first lunchtime in a long while that I am not out running trying to get things accomplished. I had screwed around and let my car insurance lapse, so that was yesterday's mission, getting it reinstated. It's bad timing that this month is a tight one. That insurance premium caught me unawares, as did that salon bill. The Huz has it tight right now, too, as he had some travel expenses to pay out of pocket and get reimbursed for later. The bad timing is that an opportunity came up for Moomie to go to kindergarten there in Maryland and have his brother in daycare at the same facility. Neither of us has any money to front the transition, which would be a rather abrupt one anyway and probably a bit hard on the kiddos. Still, I am always on the outlook for increased chances for the kids to exercise their heads. El Presidente and I have been invited on a cruise party Friday night. We can bring four guests with us, so he is bringing his wife and two family friends, and I have asked Johnboy if he'd like to go. He gave me a tentative yes, depending on what time we leave and get back. I must find a sitter, or I can't go at all. And what to wear, ah... This party is some kind of function sponsored by WRAT The Rat Radio. In fact, it seems that this thing has been done before. wlofie (yes, it's spelled that way) has known me since almost the day I landed in Active Worlds. We've been friends for a really long while, and he's grown so much more dear and special to me over the time. He's from Sweden, a part that really is bit nearer to Copenhagen than anywhere else. I've been thinking a lot about our relationship lately because it's gone through some changes, and at one stage it was a bit similar to something that is going on between facter and me. See, fac is very busy, overwhelmed probably, and doesn't keep in touch much. He regrets that, but doesn't really make the time to send ICQ messages or emails, even though it wouldn't take that much effort. I suspect that part of that is discomfort over his current situation with his local girlfriend, but I also think it might have something to do with the flow of need. Some months ago I was just this way toward wlofie. I adored him and appreciated his presence in my life, but didn't express it as I should. Long periods went by during which he didn't hear from me at all, and I was completely engrossed in my troubles. He always talked things out with me when I needed it, when I let him, and I kind of suspect that was part of the problem. Maybe all the support was going one way. The thing that makes this seem likely is what snapped me out of my uncommunicativeness. I said hi to him one day, and he seemed soooooo upset. He had just broken up with his girlfriend, over some hideously cruel circumstances, and was hurting, bad. Now, this time, he needed me. I simply had to put down the burden of continual frustration I'd been carrying and help him. And that benefited us both. We grew a lot closer in that period, and I hate to miss a day talking to him. No, I'm not going to manufacture a crisis so that facter can be the hero. I don't really know what to do except be patient, as wlofie was, and wait. In case you were wondering why I never mentioned him before, it's because of a few things. One is that he is terminally shy, in some ways, and I've constantly weighed the benefit of talking about him against whatever embarrassment he might experience. Another is that the relationship we have is so close and so special that I can't accurately describe it here. I hope he will forgive me if he is embarrassed, but this is long overdue, and it is hard to restrain myself from revealing one of the things that make me happy. He is the keel of my boat, always keeping me level. For this I am always grateful. --Spring
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