Happy 99!  It's nearly 4 local time.  I'm drunk, and still slightly stoned, somewhat stood up but not minding it much.  It's possible to party without all the participants, just not as fun.
    The vacation is rather relaxing.  Not a single fight with my mother.  This year finds my father happier than ever, with few notable exceptions.  I myself find that the people I love have no reliable confidant.  It seems I'm a portable counsel, which is fine by me, really.  Listening is something I do well, and makes me feel useful.
    I'm seeing a lot of movies.  Each parent has a DSS set, so the satellite is gracing me with quite a lot of flicks I missed on the first go-round.  Funny thing is that so many are love stories, or westerns, or both more often, actually.  Lots about love and war and infidelity.
    Ok, I admit it, I've been horny.  I've also been needy, in that tender way.  My current partnerlessness is impressing itself upon me, and though the loves I've had resurface in me often, it's times like these they are uppermost on my mind.
    I once knew a fellow, well still do, whom I met on the net.  Very thick wall around that one, but from time to time a crack appeared and I basked in the light that seeped through it, beaming out from the inside.  I met this person in person once, and found that everything I felt held through that transition, name and face and manner of movement.  I think about that person often, very often.
    I met a woman so veiled in layers of herself, she was a shimmering chimera, into whom I peered for meaning and substance.  I was captivated by her.  Oh how I miss her; I keep her picture on my desk still.
    I knew a guy who was my kind, down to the marrow.  On first sight we knew each other as twins separated at birth might, upon reuniting.  I really miss him.
    Please forgive me, drunken rambling.
    I knew this guy who thought he was so ugly, but every day demonstrated the beauty that was him, his mind, his soul.  When finally I saw his picture, I thought, "Well, hell, what is all the fuss about?  This is not an ugly person."  Wish I could convince him of that.
    I knew this fellow who was in a continual state of rebound.  I discovered that my best way to be of service to him was to step back and be a listener when needed, and to otherwise leave him alone.  I make a much better friend to him than lover.  This gives me comfort, to have a use to him at all.
    Then there was this guy, so oppressed, so brutally held down.  Oh the beauty of watching him begin to break the bonds, to discover life, and begin to enjoy it!
    This is the year I have been waiting for, working toward.  This is the year that is pregnant with potential.  This is the year that I rise into my own, that I put every resource in me to the test, that I push through the barriers that so far I have tested and shoved at carefully.  This is the year when I fully bloom.
    Inside me, deep inside, I take the hands of those who have loved me, whom I've loved, and take from that love the additional strength I'll need.  Inside me rises the determination to take on the nation, to challenge the world, to stand my place and make it fast.  I feel more alive just now than I ever have.
    Thank you, all of you.