Journal of Spring Dew

Diary entry for Thursday, December 24, 1998:
Most Recent Page - will be a link to the end, once the journal is big enough. I have Kate (http://www.emailjournal.com/journals/diary/seeabove001.html) to thank for this idea. 

This is my experiment in quick-and-dirty journalling with the assistance of CGI. My regular journal is at http://www.springdew.com, but my intention is for both these journals to work hand-in-hand. 

******************************* 

Have Yourself a Merry Little... 

Apple zaps by the puter. I gotta bunch of presents in a stack waiting to be wrappedthen transported to Mississippi with me. Once I get done eating and doing my email,I'll wrap em up and maybe take Spodie on over to work to watch a movie or two, sincethat's where the TV and VCR still are. 

I had not one but two secret Santa gifts to grab. El Prez forgot this in hispreparations for Florida, and I asked him about it just as he was literally goingout the door. He handed me $20 and whispered the name of the recipient. $20 wasthe max for spending. 

The roads are clear now, the public ones anyway. It's a lot more dangerous justgetting around the airport here than going to Baltimore Saturday, should the weatherhold. The sky outside looks very fat and fragile, but we'll see what comes of it.Those who value it around here are getting a white xmas, at any rate. 
 
Diary entry for Friday, December 25, 1998:
Scalp Afire 

My hair is piled up and inundated with bleach. Now that I've told my mom I have purprle hair, I can't go home with it all faded and outgrown. It's been time to re-bleach for a good three weeks if not longer, and finally, the day before I depart, I am doing it. After the bleaching goes Punky Color Plum, with a lock of Violet around the face just for varigation. 

I don't know what I'm gonna do with this journal while I'm on vacation. If the mails come in and I don't respond, will the journal go down? I'll have to look at the site and see. 

I dread this trip already. There is so much anger, sadness, and disappointment there. To see my dad is always a joy, and my mom's hugs rule, but all the rest of it is an agony. The way my siblings take advantage of my parents, the way they are all full of dreams but no real gumption to get out there and achieve them, the way they carefully preserve ignorance for the sake of appearances - don't they realize that to appear smart may make you look weird (in that part of the country), but to appear stupid makes you look STUPID? My patience is always taxed there, because all of them have the same amount of potential I do, they all have such individual gifts, and though I fail often, I keep trying to realize the potential. They are squandering theirs, and taking my parents down with them. 
 
Diary entry for Friday, January 8, 1999:
(Note: I got an email prompt last night after midnight and responded to it. Then I got another this morning and responded to it. I think the second overwrote the first, because the first did not appear. So here it is now, followed by the second. Now I have a third prompt for today, late this afternoon. Think i'll ignore it and see what happens.) 

Oh How Odd 

How strange that I get my journal prompt now, just after midnight. The situation is very unusual today, for it is twenty minutes after midnight, and I am so very, very drunk. I am still at work. I never left. 

See, something disturbing happened today. Our key (and only) investor called to chew my boss' ass out over MY journal. Mine. See, the son, wife, and daughter-in-law were surfing about the site of the business I work for. That site led to a Yahoo! club for the product we sell, which in turn led to my personal profile. That profile led to my journal, and that is where everyone got shocked. For, you see, I am bi. As in bisexual. I am also polyamorous. As in I love more than one person. That is not to say I swing. Sex is NOT trivial to me. It's just that I find it possible to be in love with more than one person at a time, I find it possible to be in more than one COMMITTED, STABLE relationship at a time. So, you got this chick who enjoys other women as well as men, and who can be in more than one relationship at a time. This, apparently, is reprehensible to our investor. 

This pissed me the hell off. Who is this person to judge? If he is a human, which I strongly suspect, he's got no business casting the first stone. 

You have no idea how close I came to seeking another job. 

As it was, I still had to change my Yahoo! profile so that it did not lead to my journal (http://www.springdew.com for those of you who have missed it). This galls me, as I am a member and founder also of the Chronicle (http://clubs.yahoo.com/clubs/chronicle/) Yahoo! club, and it makes no sense to belong to it and yet have no tie to my own journal. Chronicle IS about online journalling. I found a way around it, by way of a message in my "news" field saying to email me for the URL to my journal, but still, that is compromising something and I don't like it a bit. 

Anyway, sooner or later I need to go home, and I might as well walk, the state I am in. 

**************************** 

Purple Toupee 

I'm listening to They Might Be Giants. I discovered these guys about a decade late, but I like em lots. 

Not much time for writing just now, many things here at work that need doing. Very soon I have to go run a buncha errands and stuff. Cash paycheck. Drop off form for convention cards at printer. Maybe buy a few groceries. There was something else, what was it? Oh yeah, get money orders cut to pay bills. 

Oh yeah, and go to a copy center to run off some propoganda. If you haven't gone by !!!srini!!!'s site yet, do it now. It's inspiring. http://www.unamerican.com. The flyers I chose say: 

"DON'T FORGET: your potential to transform your own life into something that inspires other people into action" 

"don't eat your SOUL to fill your BELLY" 

"what is stopping YOU from doing something SO COOL that it renders you IMMORTAL?" 

"blasphemy means ignoring your dreams" 
 
Diary entry for Saturday, January 9, 1999:
Addiction 

Ugh, I've become addicted to email again. It's been a long time. What made me aware of this is the fact the server that does my email and web hosting has been down for at least 12 hours, possibly more, as I woke up pretty late this morning. No DW fix!!!! http://www.3sheep.com/daveworld/ It was also bugging me that some folks I want to go out with this Thursday might have been deciding just where, and so an email with all the facts might be sitting on said server, unreachable. 

I've been reading "Helen, Sweetheart of the Internet" (http://www.peterzale.com) for hours. Really absorbing. Of course, I have a kajillion things I could have been doing those hours, but then again, most of them involved access to that server, which also hosts my last client from when I did web design. Ok, not the laundry. Yeah, ok, you don't need a server to do dishes either. I futzed around. I screwed around. I got some time to RELAX! I slacked, I shammed. Happy sigh. 
 
Diary entry for Sunday, January 10, 1999:
Sniff 

I have the sniffles and a scratchy throat. Feels like a cold coming on. Guess I better get out the "Immune Boon" variety of Tribal Tonics. http://www.tribaltonics.com The Energy Elixir really does give me energy, and the Relaxation Cocktail is really relaxing, so why should I not give Immune Boon a shot? It's got a lotta ginger in it besides the ecchinacea, I know. First time I popped one open, I wasn't sick, but anyway the aroma rose up reminiscent of a Chinese restaurant. I think that was ginger. 

Just got back from the laundromat. I got there just in time to do all my laundry, and would have, too, except one of the washloads came out with undissolved detergent all over the clothes, so they had to go again and never got a chance to get dried. Now I gotta clean off all the surfaces, sofas, and chairs around here, as I have no clothesline, and drape all this wet stuff everywhere to dry overnight. I did get 5 minutes of dryer time on these, so they are not sopping wet, just plain wet. Ah well. 

I printed out the first 20 pages of !!!srini!!!'s _The Truth_. It's a good read, will make a damn fine book once somebody publishes it. http://www.unamerican.com/core/truth/index.html Should you decide to print this out for yourself, I suggest you paste it over to a word processor and reduce it to 8 font size or else you'll have a roughly 500 page document on your hands. Its 162 pages in small fontl. Yeah, I know it loses a little something in the formatting, but if you wanna carry it around with you... 
 
Diary entry for Monday, January 11, 1999:
What am I going to write? Maybe that I am so turned on to !!!srini!!!'s ideas. It's the end of a long day, what feels like a fruitless day, a Monday. It seems I get so little done for all the interruptions and diversions. For instance, I can be working on the D&T website and be interrupted to do some research on a domain name, something that winds up taking an hour or more, and when I'm done that and just getting started again on the graphics for the site redesign, again interrupted to load up a salesperson with samples and advice, then again to hurry to the post office for money orders before they close. It goes on and on and things get put farther behind. Is it boring? Parts of my day are definitely boring, but there are interesting bursts between them. I love my job and yet get so FRUSTRATED. It's like marriage in that way. 

And it seems every time I sit to get things done, a heavy inertia falls over me, and I'd rather do some small simple task right now, it's as though I WANT a diversion, rather than begin a time consuming task that is just gonna get interrupted again. 

Is it an all or nothing mentality? That I want either major sweeps of occupation, or lots of little quickly dispatched tasks, but not both? Or is it the mixing together of the two at such unpredictability that irritates me? 

We are trying something new. New hours for me. I'm a biologically nocturnal person anyway, so this should work for me, once my body re-adapts to its natural state. My workday will begin at 5:00 am and end at 2 pm, with a "lunch" break at 9 am. Then I'll go home and sleep until 9 pm or so, get up and begin my day. 

I just realized this totally hoses my chances at the laundromat. Well, except on weekends, when I can do laundry in the mornings, or over at the Huz's. 

What has this to do with !!!srini!!! ? Well, his ideas are about daily life, divinity, the nature of God, how boredom and interest relate to the Devil and God. Lots of things. It would take me a really long time, I think, to expound on what everyday relevance _The Truth_ has to my life. It's just that it's about life, really, from the trivial to the profound, and my life is full of all that. It's about relationships between people and each other, between people and themselves, between people and God, between people and ideas, between ideas and other ideas, on and on and on. 

This network of relationships, it's the essence of life.