Today has been slushy.  It snowed all morning and rained all afternoon.  I felt down in a vague, listless way.  I was tired.
    The exciting life of an internet journaller.
    Now that I'm unemployed and single, I have so much time to write.  Actually I been slacking this week.  This weekend is a good time to do some housework and move things around and to do some really deep research on business leads.  I'm sure the pace of my writing will slow again to its usual occasionally.
    Brooklynguy tells me that it is my nature to test limits.  He says it's what's behind this polyamory business, that loving so many wouldn't be so hard to swallow if I didn't push it the way I do, if I didn't insist on demonstrating myself.
    I might not agree with everything, but I do see the truth behind it.  I do take things as far as I possibly can, and then push just a little farther.  And it's not kind, it's not considerate, to the people around me, especially those to whom the limits belong.  It's hurtful.  And sometimes I do things more because I think I'm supposed to than because it might be the right thing to do, or than because I want to.
    Oooh I have made so many mistakes.