27 Feb 04
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Friday Defilement

It would be easy to be a bigot and a sexist at the Publix on a Friday afternoon. If you want to see Jewish men behaving badly, this is the place to go and the time to go there. Just arrive about 3:30 PM or so and watch. You can be indoors or in the parking lot - it doesn't matter. You will see men in yarmulkes being assholes.

As a believer, I find this appalling and deeply embarrassing. Infuriating.

I understand the stress. Sundown is coming, and there's much to be done before Shabbos. I see the mothers shepherding their children about, trying to hurriedly get the necessities bought so they can get home and finish making preparations and then properly usher in the holy day. So people are in a hurry. I understand, and I step out of the way quickly and offer a smile when catching an eye. I know how it is.

Being in a big hurry doesn't excuse asshole behavior, though. It doesn't make it ok to lean on your horn because the car in front of you won't make a right turn, never mind that they see a pedestrian in the way that you can't see. It doesn't mean you can yell at people and be abusive. And doing asshole things while wearing meaningful symbology is an egregious offense. It's spitting in the face of the faithful.

When you wear an important symbol of a faith, not only are you demonstrating your covenant with God, but you are identifying yourself as among the faithful. You are tying your identity to that of other people. To be an asshole while doing so broadcasts loudly to the world that there is nothing in your faith to dissuade you from abusing others, and that you don't care that other people would get that impression about your people.

I don't care if your symbol is a yarmulke or a crucifix or a turban or orange robes or a triskel or whatever. When you take on that symbol, you take on a responsibility for its correct use and for appropriate behavior while it's in your charge. Not that it's ever ok to abuse people, but displaying such adornment of affiliation carries additional responsibility, which must be honored and upheld.

To behave otherwise is a defilement.



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