Other Space Part One

 

I had not waited for him to fasten his seat belt or close the glove box before cranking up and taking off, so he struggled to do these now in the bouncing vehicle.     "Okay let's use this," he said, gesturing through the windshield at the gravel racing at us.  "You're on a road. The road is bumpy and treacherous. You can risk it as it is and not enjoy the ride so much as a smooth ride could be, or you can talk to community leaders and find ways to work within the system to get the funds necessary to make the roads better. Would you prefer just do deal with the road as it is when you could change it?"     "I love the road as it is, Zach.  It's half the reason I moved here."  I was driving probably far too fast, quickly dodging the deeper holes.  "And this is the other..."     We halted at the foot of a hill upon which a light yellow Victorian rested comfortably in a stand of maples.  I let him get an eyeful, then I continued drivng.  "It's thrilling making this drive, more so in ice and snow.  And I am well equipped to handle it.  Those with Ford Aspires  have no business being here."  I wrenched the wheel hard right and saw him lurch in his seat.     "Okay, if you happen to like the road, fine, but what if it hurts to ride it?  Would you take another route?  Would you put up with it?  Would you try to improve the road?"     "Perhaps I would pave it, if it came down to that.  But I'd rather not live here; if it hurt to make this drive, then the woods are not where I belong."  With a bump-BUMP I hadn't managed to avoid one of the bigger holes.  I eyed him sideways and said, "Roads do not grow on their own accord."     "Well I'm the road, and Lisa has found it rather bumpy over the last few years. Smooth in places, but not in others. She's doing something about it. She's using her influence to change the road, and if that doesn't work, then she wasn't meant to live in the woods. She'll move somewhere else."     "And what of the road?  What harm might she be doing the road in trying to change it? This is where the metaphor falls apart, darling."     I hit the brakes and clutch, our heads shooting forward.  A squirrel in the middle of the road had gotten indecisive, and had nearly run right under my wheels.  After a second, it shot off the road and up a tree, and we drove on.     "Nope. Doesn't fall apart. I've seen what changes to a road do over time. The pavement cracks due to drastic weather changes. Obstacles can fall into the way. If a road is meant to be undrivable, it will eventually become so. All things fall to decay and disrepair. Thing is do I want to be a well driven road? A road that many like to use because it gets them somewhere, or do I want to be a beaten path with weeds growing in it that no one travels?"     I stopped the vehicle again, this time beside a stand of trees draped in kudzu.  "Do you know about kudzu, Zach?"     "Think maybe I saw a kudzu at the zoo the other day. They were next to the dik dik. Little deer-looking creatures not much bigger than my chihuahua. Don't remember what the kudzu looked like though. Feel free to elaborate."     I pointed at the trees, struggling under the viny weight. "Kudzu is a plant that grows about a foot a day.  You see it blanketed all over trees and telephone poles and things.  It was imported from Japan to help with erosion problems, especially in waterfront areas.  Farmers changed the land, made it yield more, added fertilizers and pesticides to it.  When it eroded, they then found themselves having to change it again.  They brought in kudzu, the answer to their prayers.  It became their nightmare."     "Doesn't it affect the ecology of the area?"     "It comsumes everything, chokes the life right out.  It's resistant to pesticide; you can hack it away and it returns with lightning speed.  They changed and changed, and then had to change to fix the change, which made it much, much worse."     "And the little old lady swallowed the spider to catch the fly. I don't know why she swallowed the fly."     I smiled a weary smile.  "Some things were meant to be left alone, Zach.  Some things are meant to be what they are."     "Would it have been better had they not farmed the land?  Used the soil to feed their bellies?  Should they have given up?"     "They should have chosen ground conducive to farming, rather than transform the ground that wasn't suited."     "But that isn't where they were, dear. They'd have to pick up and move somewhere else if the land they were at was unsuitable. Like Maryland for example."     I gave him a very meaningful look and answered quietly, "Maryland, apparently, is unsuitable too.  Too much swampland."  I grabbed the stick, shoved it into first, and we were off again.  "There is another thing....so far it's been about you and your flaws.  Who's working on her flaws?"  With a rapid-fire budda-BUMP! budda-BUMP! I took a row of smaller potholes right down their centers.     "Well I'm asking her to be less sensitive, and to communicate to me more when something is going wrong. Let me know when the flags raise so I'm aware of them. I also have informed her that I won't jump to something like cohousing or community living with people I don't know well. This caused a bit of an argument. I mean, I thought she was wanting to just go do it and she was only educating herself with the possibility. I'm not trying to change her consciously."     "Those look like relationship issues, not flaws."  We reached a T intersection with a relatively recently paved road.  "I think it's time we got on a safe surface, don't you?"  I took a left.     "Sure. You're driving.  Well I'm also still suffering from the Perfect Woman thing. I mean I don't easily see flaws in Lisa. I don't easily see flaws in any woman who I have a fancy for."     I was so tired, so tired.  It was affecting my temper, and the hunger starting to gnaw my insides wasn't helping any either.  "I can tell.  All this driving isn't getting us anywhere, Zach.  I don't really think so.  I think you'll be wrestling these issues until you die.  What you do in the meantime, however, is very important.  You need to live.  If you stay stuck on that road, you will run out of gas and die there."     I pulled up in front of Parker's Catfish House.  "Now, if you don't mind, I'm starving."     "Catfish sounds good.  What you forget though, is I'm not the one driving the road. I am the road. Lisa's driving on me."     I threw up my hands in squiggly motions of frustration.  "I still don't accept that analogy.  And I am talking about real you.  You are letting this obsession fuck up your life and your relationships, and you have no idea who you are hurting, because they quit telling you they hurt.  If you really wanna be alone, keep going with it, keep going nuts about yourself, and nobody will wanna be there to enjoy the goodness about you."     "Like I said, Stace.  I gotta take this journey.  If you're still here when I get back, fine . If you want to go on the journey with me, okay.  But if you can't handle it.  I'll understand it if you're not there when I break on through to the other side."     I looked at him sadly, tears prickling the edges of my eyes.  "We'll see."