On NPR today I heard this guy talking about the Israel problems, saying that each side has now discovered that they can't base a peace process on the development of trust alone. They have to realize that their "partner in diplomacy" could undergo a "reversal of intentions" and adequately plan for that.
Of course that reminded me of a friend I have who is undergoing a marital separation. He doesn't want to go to war, not in the least. But he can't just roll over either. Right now, he's trying to build a peace on trust alone, and he is about to get stomped. I'm trying to tell him to be up front, honest, communicative, all the stuff he wants to be. But he's gotta take a stand and reasonably document what they decide, as well. Or there's a chance his diplomatic partner can have a reversal of intentions and he can get fucked.
Gus
is saying these days that online journallers are a lot duller
in person than they sound online. Er, nearly everone who "lives" online winds up seeming duller in person than they are online. That's the nature of the net. Online, selfconsciousness is cut to virtually nothing. You get to ponder what you say before you say it. People focus on what you are saying rather than whether your nails are bitten. Shyness isn't the gaping obstacle online that it is in person. The difference between what people are like online and what they are like in person has a lot less to do with character flaws or online journalling than it has with the difference between working through a medium and experiencing people directly. It's just an illusion. They really are the same person.
People who are experienced in meeting people in person whom they have known online already sense this, and know how to throw out the lack-of-medium dullness factor so that the playing field is once more level. They know how to use their other, prior, relationship to draw the person out, and how to recognize the person they know in the person they are meeting. It takes an element of faith and hope and sharp awareness. And it's rewarding.
Hey, it applies to him too, man. The only people who seem more interesting in person than online are generally people who don't use the net much, or very well.
Fish are on the cam tonight because I have some. The smell of cedar shavings drew me into the pet place after sushi with Rebar last night, and I wrestled with myself. Mice, or fish. Mice...or fish. Well, I figured fish would drive Spodie less insane than mice. The tank kit was cheap, the three goldfish way cheaper, and Spodie doesn't know that the lid comes off. He loves em. He absolutely loves his own personal live critter show.
Now I know why the X buys stuff. He's lonely.
