We finally got the kinks out of the schedule, as far as I can tell, since the kids went back to their dad's. All the blanks that are white, those are "free" time.

Today is Bonus Day, because I feel like my journal is just wallowing in my apathy. Sure there are lots of reasons and excuses for why I haven't been updating much, most of them having to do with fatigue and scheduling issues, but surely I should be writing SOMEthing right? So, today I am doing the goofy hundred things about me shtick. Wheeeeeeeee!

1. Half my life I've been trying to get my hair to not stick up, and nowadays I hate it when my hair doesn't stick up. In fact, I'm gonna have to ditch my mousse for some gel or something because it just isn't doing the trick.
2. Almost any coffee will do. I think I've only ever twice turned down coffee because it was just too vile.
3. It takes a lot to push me to rage.
4. It takes very little to push me to annoyance.
5. Nevertheless, I am generally a happy person. A happy yet bitter, jaded, pessimistic person, but happy anyway.
6. I have a ten gallon bladder. Not that I've measured; it just seems that way.
7. The above is part of why I am a good traveler.
8. I look back at myself in the past and wonder what the hell I was thinking. Oh wait, that's almost everybody, isn't it? Take makeup for instance. I used to bravely put up with the skin rashes and the eyelashes falling out just for the privilege of wearing makeup and feeling beautiful. What's an allergy to stand in the way of sexiness, right? It took awhile to discover that whatever sexiness I possess has nothing to do with the shtuff I smear on my skin - it's the me-ness of me.
9. I think I hate web design now. Yes, in fact, I'm becoming sure of it.
10. I want to be a veterinarian when I retire. Once I'm feeling secure about the end of my career, I want to go back to school and become an animal doctor, and actually enjoy the process rather than try to do this while under the pressures that someone at my current stage of life is under.
11. I'm generating ideas all the time, but most of them evaporate. I'm short on RAM.
12. I love my teammates. Sometimes we just riff off each other and keep the laughter going all night long. I go home high from it.
13. Laughter, in general, makes me high.
14. Making someone I love laugh makes me extremely high. So high, in fact, I get a headache upon coming down.
15. With highs like these, I have no desire for drugs.
16. I'm actually scared of certain drugs. Other drugs I already know I don't like. Any drugs not falling on those two lists, I'm in no big hurry to find out about.
17. I am, however, tobacco's bitch.
18. I don't play computer/console games. Active Worlds taught me all about that sort of addiction.
19. When I first found out I had herpes, I thought my then-fiance would be the last person on the planet I'd ever have sex with, because he'd be the only person who'd have me. I was wrong.
20. I am living proof that you can give someone herpes while you are not having an outbreak. Be safe, peeps - always use rubber.
21. I am such a perv.
22. I'm tired of regular porn. I'm to the point now where if it doesn't consist of machinery or tentacles, I'm not really interested.
23. Well, ok, bondage is cool. And actual lesbian porn, not that made for straight guys stuff. And BBWs. And people who look like they don't give a rat's ass about looking hot for the shot, but instead are just really into what they're doing. But otherwise, it had better have tentacles.
24. I'm working on my Halloween costume. Want a hint? Tentacles.
25. Halloween is my number 1 absolute favorite holiday in the world. It's the one day you can be whatever you are or want to be, and nobody has jack to say about it. Every day should be Halloween.
26. Christmas and Easter are not even in my top 10. In fact, on a positive/negative scale of the value of certain days, with 0 being a normal day, Christmas and Easter each get a -10. I hate them.
27. So, after nine months now, I still like where I work. Sure there's lots of corporate bullshit and stuff, but I like the fact that my workplace is heavily populated with non-mainstream free thinker types, lots of friends, lots of friends of friends. I feel a real sense of community there, and I pretty much get to do the sort of work I like to do. And ever since I've been on the late shift, the bullshit factor is far, far lower than it was on the earlier shift. People are more mission oriented on my shift. I respect that a helluva lot.
28. I hate talking on the phone. Seems odd for someone working in a phone center, but the phones at work have headsets with controllable volume, so I can actually hear the voices that seem piped directly into the center of my head. No other phone gives me that. I hate cell phones and cordless phones the most.
29. Yet I own a cell phone. It truly is "just for emergencies", unlike the situation that so many get into where they rack up massive bills yakking. Like I used to, back in the day. Anyway, it's also for calling my kids, since the only time they are at home and not in bed is during the same time I am on my way to work. It's prepay.
30. Whew this is harder than I thought. Ok here's one - I am a natural blonde.
31. Even my kitty is blonde. That wasn't always the case, though, which used to lead to accusations that I was lying about being naturally blonde. Good grief. Are people really that vain?
32. I don't like my thighs.
33. I also don't like my whole neck under the chin area, or the chin itself.
34. I do like my eyes, though. My eyes rock. You should check them out.
35. I like Strong Bad. He's supposed to be like the villain or something, but I can't help but like him. I think I identify with him kinda. Maybe more than kinda.
36. I've already mentioned Bruno before. I used to call him my inner terrorist, but with terrorist pretty much a refined and redefined term these days, maybe 'thug' is a little closer to it. Or 'rabblerouser'. Or 'troublemaker'. He doesn't want to terrorize an innocent populous, just really shake stuff up. Anyway, my inner being is Bruno.
37. Bruno gives me these wild irrational impulses. Like this one time I was riding on the train with Wlofie, and I saw this guy sitting there, and I dunno why, but I just felt this swelling rage and this idea came at me that I really wanted to go grab that guy by the hair on the back of his head and give him the knee to the face thing. I didn't do it, of course, because Bruno does not equal me; I am made of more than just Bruno. I'm a rational, mature, caring, feeling adult.
38. Gee, maybe Bruno is a terrorist.
39. I exaggerate, like you know a thousand times a day.
40. Time is way too fluid and malleable for me, hard to keep up with. (What month is it anyway?) That's why I mess up birthdays and stuff like that, although...
41. I cannot stand to be late. I hate it, I hate it, I hate it. That's why...
42. I am usually early. Sometimes hideously early.
43. I love duct tape.
44. This will make me unpopular, but I like Perl. Probably because it is the duct tape of the Internet. I fully admit that it's graceless and it's crazy. But hey, it sticks stuff together.
45. I like salt. Not in my food, but by itself.
46. You can probably win me over with sweet and sour anything.
47. Keep your cake and ice cream and chocolate bars. I don't care that much for them. Don't hate them, just don't feel like eating them.
48. Gimme sushi. I want sushi. I love sushi.
49. My favorite sushi items are tuna and salmon nigri. I know, how dull and plain. Simple flavors are the best!
50. I sort of like cream cheese in certain contexts. Sushi is not one of them.
51. I cannot wait for fuel cell technology. GM is supposed to have a car out on the market using this by 2010, and I want it.
52. However, the big automotive love of my life is still the VW New Beetle. Must have.
53. I miss my truck though. I had this Isuzu 4 wheel drive monstrosity that I sold when I got married and pregnant. What a fabulous machine. I used to run it through the cranberry bogs of South Jersey.
54. I liked living in New Jersey. People there have guts.
55. I love New York. It aches that I haven't been back since I moved to South Florida.
56. I like doing the bondage thing. I kind of miss it.
57. I don't find pain fun.
58. I do however sometimes find pain cathartic. This is part of what's behind my tattoos.
59. I'm nothing like anyone else in my family, except my dad.
60. But I'm looking more and more like my mom as time goes on.
61. I don't stay in touch with my family.
62. I like baking soda, and products with baking soda in them, from toothpaste to detergent.
63. I discovered after the fact that you should check the heights of surrounding buildings before having sex on top of a building. The library was only one story tall.
64. I like being naked. Feels good.
65. After 7 or so PM is the best time for me to go to the beach. I can't take direct sunlight in doses of more than 10 minutes or so.
66. Of course, being naked at the beach at night is supreme. Hell, I wanna do that right now. Too bad I gotta work.
67. I miss doggie love. Must get dog.
68. This list is getting boring, isn't it? I think maybe I have a secret fear of being boring.
69. I only just now discovered the last item. Wow.
70. I feel guilty because I owe Napalm like 8 grand. Wow. That's a lot.
71. I feel impotent in this whole sacrificial animal thing. I really know that he can be totally successful, but I don't even know how to get started with like the manufacturing and stuff.
72. I want a kinky PVC outfit. I should add that to my wish list.
73. The 29th of September was my 5-year online journal anniversary. Holy cow. But because of number 40 up there, I didn't notice until just now.
74. Ow. My retinas are burning from having looked at my first and second entries just now. God, I knew nothing of web design then. I need eye drops...
75. I like lots of different kinds of music.
76. Music that gets inside me and makes me have to dance, that music gets me high. Here I go with the high stuff again.
77. I am not one of those 30% of women who can have an orgasm from just sex. In fact, much of the time, I don't get an orgasm at all.
78. But it doesn't matter that much. There's more to sex for me than orgasm.
79. I have a birthmark on the back of my head, under my hair.
80. The people I like and respect the most are critical thinkers.
81. The people I like and respect the most tend to have eclectic taste in music, probably as a result of the previous.
82. If my circumstances had been different, I probably would have been punk. That's hard to do in Redneckistan. No exposure. I didn't even know what punk was.
83. I love silly songs and wacky puns. I'm really 6 inside, I think.
84. I can hang a spoon off my nose. What's more, you can, too, once I get done showing you how.
85. My blood pressure is usually barely above dead.
86. I once had this monstrous cholesterol level. That was when I was in the Army, working for EOD, and I used to have steak and eggs every morning and prime rib every night, and then we had this screening one day. I had no idea that a human's cholesterol could get that high.
87. I'm prone to migraines, but it's been a couple years since my last major one. Yeeha!
88. I'm terrified that I have cancer hiding out in my body somewhere, growing undetected, and by the time it's found, it will be way too late.
89. I'm terrified of death. I didn't used to be. It was the brush with cervical cancer that gave it to me.
90. I hate the clap machine. Folks now probably don't know what the hell I am talking about, but that's what I remember it being called back in the days of disco. It's that synthesized sound of a whole bunch of people clapping to a beat, immortalized forever on the "Hooked on..." series of records. You know, like "Hooked on Jazz" and "Hooked on Classical". Yeah, those. They used to be really big. Now I hate that sound. Fortunately most, but sadly not all, current dance music has the decency to cover it up with a lot of other sounds, if it's gonna use the clap machine at all.
91. I might be getting paranoid. Or narcissistic. Something. What is it when you think you might be hearing people talking about you, but you can't tell whether it's good or bad things they are saying, and you sort of have a feeling it might be bad, but that doesn't frighten you or anything, but you'd still kind of like to know what they are saying?
92. I like aspirin.
93. I like orange. I like orange clothes, Chee-tos, those little cheesy peanut butter crackers, orange soda, etc.
94. A nice blank sheet of paper inspires me with both utter elation and a vague sense of dread. It's the edge of a precipice, see. Just like people, paper can only be virgin once - better make a good impression.
95. Probably that's why I like it when people re-use botched paper from the copier to make notes and stuff on the other side. It's like a second chance.
96. I like my boobies. They are very good boobies. You should check them out. Ok, maybe you shouldn't.
97. I tend to forget I'm pierced and tattooed. I tend to forget I have colorful hair. It's not so much that I forget, per se, but that it doesn't ride in the front places of my mind. Kind of how the fact that people can see your pinkie finger is not anywhere near the front of your mind, know what I mean?
98. I'm becoming more and more sure that I want another piercing. One in a highly controversial place. I hear that quality of life goes up dramatically with this particular kind of piercing, in the item number 77 sense of the word.
99. I am told that when I'm embarrassed, I look like Christmas. Guess it's the green hair.
100. It's hard to embarrass me.