Unemployment, Inc.

    I dunno how many folks know it, but I am currently unemployed.  Hire me.  Aw, cmon, you know you want me.  I specialize in Saving Ass.  I have saved so many asses (including my own), I otter get a medal.
    Seriously, I have been out of work about a month now and it's starting to bug me.  There was an unfortunate string of circumstances that kept me from really devoting my full time and attention to the search for a job, the biggest two being the trip to Sweden (which I was not going to cancel after everything I went through to get those tickets) and the maddening series of snow days that kept me snowbound, with children out of school, and sometimes without power.
    I need work, and of the type that you don't often find in the classifieds.  I've learned a lot about PR and distribution and sales and advertising and the whole ordeal of keeping a startup running.  I have learned so much about the mechanics of computers and how LANs work.  I have learned an awful lot about how to handle people and make stuff happen that nobody thinks is gonna happen.  I always knew diplomacy; I learned how to add finesse and ruthlessness to make a formidable arsenal against those who would say no.  I've learned how a little research can go a long way, and a lot of research can help you be unstoppable.
    And that's just a few of my assets.
    I am powerful.  I rock.  And I have leadership skills to beat the band.
    The only strikes against me are 1) that much of what I have learned is undocumented and therefore nonexistent until proven and 2) I lack the appropriate letters after my name.  I have two Associates degrees that have nothing to do with what I actually do.  At some point I will probably go for a Bachelors in Business Administration, but that can't be now.   So, the traditional routes of kicking up a job - classifieds, headhunters, job fairs - are going to be of no use to me, for I must sell myself, in person.  I can't compete on paper, but I can kick ass face-to-face, and that's what I've gotta do.
    So what I ask of you is this - yes, you...!  You been sitting there reading, do me a favor willya?  If you know anybody, and it doesn't matter who, in the New Jersey/New York City area, introduce me.  It's ok if it's by email.  It's ok if they don't know of a job.  It's ok if it's a ditch digger or a daycare provider or whatever.  Just introduce me.  The more people I know, the more access I have to people they know, etc. etc. and as it keeps going, sooner or later a job that is suitable will crop up.
    While you're doing that, I'm doing the same thing IRL here.  Course, if your lead finds me the job, I'll owe ya a big favor.
    I'll owe ya a big favor.  You think about that for awhile.  Lemme know.
    Yes, I am using other methods, too, like researching the net and newspapers and such.  God willing, this will be over soon, and I can get back to trying to take stuff over.  Conquest, that's me.

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