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6 August 1998 |
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I haven't heard from Illustrated or Mello, though they have my number and said they'd call. I don't have theirs. The conclusion I am tempted to jump to is that they lost interest in me as a friend once they realized I'm not putting out anytime soon. Which is ok really, cuz I want friends who like me for me, not for the nookie they think they're gonna get, so screw em. I've been trying my hand at poetry lately, mostly haiku and the elusive serious limerick. I have a few of these at the house (am at work on lunch break just now) and will load them when I can. Last night I had such a compulsion to write, but a stronger compulsion to talk to facter, whom I don't get to "see" too much, as we are exactly twelve hours apart. It's midnight for him now, and his bio clock is still reeling from the Las Vegas jet lag. Anyway the end result was that I spilled all over the chat the stuff that would have gone into my journal otherwise. He suggested that we save the text and make a journal entry of it. He saved the first part when I had to restart the puter, and I saved the second part, I think, althought it didn't have quite as much creative stuff in it. facter is down these days, and it breaks my heart. I can't help but think I'd be of some use if I were there, if for no other reason than to shake some sense into people who drive him nuts. Course, that's not the only reason I would go. God, I want so much! Mostly I just want to be able to go wherever I want to go. Possessions really mean nothing to me, except how they might help me go somewhere. I am suffering from the hormonal thing again. Dunno if I ever mentioned it in Warehouse, but this thing, it drives me insane. Is it because I am naturally noctournal? You judge. Every day about 11 or so, I begin to get antsy, and by noon to one I am just plain horny. This goes on until three or so, then begins to ease off. I am capable of getting aroused at night, it's not like that. It's just a lot more powerful during the day, and independent of whatever is going on or whoever is around. Some months this is worse than others, so I think it's tied into menstruation somehow. I think I am going to use the remaining portion of my lunch time to take care o' business. --Spring
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