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10 August 1998 |
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See why I use serial numbers for filenames rather than dates? I never know how often I'll be able to update. Earlier I had two entries for one day, and here it is four days between, which drives me nuts, believe me. The need to write is constant; the time to do so is not. I have about forty five minutes to spit out my thoughts and get em uploaded. On your mark, get set, go! Oh yes and while I'm doing that, I'm choking down a salami sub and a new sport drink we're carrying. The weekend was relatively good. I saw some Daveworld buddies, they are people I met via a mailing list started by Dave Siegel, through his journal. They are a close community, much like AW but not quite as diverse. The conversation is usually quite satisfying, and that part is diverse. No topic is taboo. As far as I can tell, anyway. The meeting was fun and relaxed. We bought some stuff at a farmer's market and skimmed about antiques and thrift shops. We seemed very natural and comfortable with each other. It was good. There was some friction with the Huz. Less than I expected, he's had a bad week and tends to take that kinda thing out on everybody within a 50 mile radius, but enough to make me glad to flee the house. I drove around DC in the rain, ate at a Wendy's. I admired and yet was disgusted by all the oily rainbows all over the Wendy's parking lot. When I got back late last night, after a quick side trip to Atlantic City ("Oooh Mommy look at all the lights!") I found a message on the voicemail from Mello. Apparently he had a raging erection and needed something done about it. I didn't call back. Not yet anyway. Confirms my suspicions; they're in it for potential sex. I plan on calling and very gently scolding the hell out of him, while offering a beer. I want friends; I need friends. And yes, for all my lamenting about not having fuckable friends, something this cheap was not exactly what I had in mind. I meant friendships that grow and deepen and yet remain friendships. This guy is completely superficial, far as I can tell, and we've only seen each other twice. Sorry, that just don't cut it. Plus I don't know where he's been putting it. I have one STD already. I don't need any more. I did something with my hair. I should have a picture soon, as well as those long-promised but yet undelivered pics of my house. I've had El Prez's digital camera for the last few days, and hopefully he can process the pics soon. I continue to pine for facter. It's a very self-conscious thing; I don't want him to feel like I'm obsessive or possessive or invasive or anything. I just really care immensely about the guy and crave the day I can be in his presence again. I want to know everything he'll reveal to me. I want to do anything I can for him. How do I do this without scaring the shit out of him? I really don't know. I've shown him as much of my deepest depths that the time so far has allowed, and want to show more. And yet my feelings for him are undemanding, I hope. I know he has a whole life in the other hemisphere, and am intensely interested and wish I could be involved, but that's his world and know I prolly should stay out of it. Or should I? Again, I dunno. I want to leave him as much space as he needs, and yet be as involved as he needs. This is probably a long-winded way of saying that my respect for him is enormous, and my urge to accomodate, every bit as huge. As huge as my affection. I got a bit of email over the last entry. Thanks! Hey, I'm a normal human, I got needs, just like you. Thought I'd mentioned Curly Sue in here already, but I can't find a reference to her. Curly Sue is the cable television representative we're working with, and I find her delightful. Her hair is a fluffy halo and her smile is incredibly engaging. Her voice is warm and affectionate and her movements are graceful and flowing. She looks huggable, oh so huggable. Well, I finally got up the nerve to ask her if she's married. She is. And she's straight, besides. She was very kind in telling me these things, assuring me that if she were single and gay, she'd most definitely go out with me. Ah well, I was relieved to finally have taken the step. It was my first time. --Spring
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El Presidente built me a packing and shipping area in the warehouse, which really makes space in the office. How nice to have some room in here again. He also moved the product around so that when our truckload comes in tomorrow, I can unload it nicely and neatly, and rotate out the old stock. |