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29 September 1998 |
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This is my first High Holy Days outside the military environment. It's a lot different out here. Before, I didn't get any days off, just released to go to services. It was always odd, our little Army shul of less than ten every week, blossoming into over a hundred. For many secular Jews, their only time in a synagogue is this special week. In military congregations, there isn't any ticket business. Sometimes a mailer would go out that you fill out so they know how many folks to expect. Everyone is welcome, though, and at DLI the place would be packed with civilians, mostly the Russian instructors. Here, I've already had the scare of not being able to find my ticket. I don't want to be left out. A couple weeks ago, at a service, we were asked to fill out an anonymous survey about the existence of God and a few other points pertinent to the season. It is said that God judges you in these days, and on Yom Kippur, he decides whether or not to inscribe you in the Book of Life for another year, or whether to let you die. In the discussion that followed the survey, some of the older ones in the congregation pointed out that the Holocaust pretty much blew this belief away. Many people, righteous and unrighteous alike, died. I don't believe in a literal Book of Life myself, but I know that at least the idea is a useful tool for evaluating yourself, an opportunity for improvement, for the criteria are your behaviors towards your fellow beings. Did you behave justly, ethically, with compassion, with honor? I can see how, in less enlightened times, a superstition of this magnitude would have been very helpful in keeping some kind of social harmony. I feel inspired by Cory Glen to share some other thoughts and beliefs. Cause & Effect You can't always know every effect your actions will produce. You can only make the soundest judgments possible with the information you have, and hope that some unforeseen spin-off from your action doesn't bite you in the ass. Morality I'm still grappling with the distinction between ethics and morality. Everyone's version of what's right differs so much. One of my moral tenets is "It's very wrong to jerk someone around." But jerking around in my definition is a lot stricter than some folks'. I find nothing at all wrong with the acquisition of sexual knowledge, an attitude that brands me in some people's minds as "a woman of loose morals." I'm not sure really just what morality is, except that a good yardstick is, if it pisses you off, try not to do it to anybody else. Another good one is if it feels wrong, don't do it. I just realized that my gauges are merely the negative forms of popular sayings. Emotions vs. Ethics It's human nature to be in contradiction to yourself, to think one way and feel another, and to behave somewhere in between. I know that on a busy highway, the person pulled over with a mechanical problem may not ever get help, because everyone else assumes someone else will help. I know that I should help, but it doesn't stop my being afraid. Sometimes I help, more often I don't, and feel bad long afterward. Equality We have to all be equal, yet we don't all get equal treatment, and we don't all contribute equally to society. Each individual has a particular set of talents and motivations and attributes, as well as a distinct set of circumstances surrounding that person's existence. It's my hope that all this evens out somewhere, that my lack of skill in one area is made up by a great strength in another, and this makes me equal, really, to one with a whole different makeup. Yet I see people who seem to contribute nothing, who do not shine in any way. I hope there is just something there I'm not seeing. It goes against everything I believe that a person can be nothing, completely useless, valueless, unequal to another, somehow less. Lest I be mistaken, I am not talking about the homeless or gang members or the destitute here. I've seen plenty of worthless-seeming folks with money and connections, and lots from somewhere in between. The Sexes Too much generalization goes on about men and women. Sure, some folks are going to have things in common, and some of those commonalties will tend to occur more in one gender than another, but I see around me a world where the "exceptions" are nearly as plentiful as the "norms." Every woman does not crave chocolate. Every man does not love beer. I want to throw up every time I hear, "It's a guy thing. They're all like that." Machiavellian or Not?
Brevity and Communication
Understanding
Tit for Tat
Whining
Ambition
Evil and Thought
Facts
Change
--Spring
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